{"id":307881,"date":"2026-03-24T07:05:00","date_gmt":"2026-03-24T11:05:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/electricliterature.com\/?p=307881"},"modified":"2026-03-24T10:23:31","modified_gmt":"2026-03-24T14:23:31","slug":"7-books-that-explore-whiteness-in-intimate-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/electricliterature.com\/7-books-that-explore-whiteness-in-intimate-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Books That Explore Whiteness in Intimate Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

White partners in interracial relationships\u2014especially white boyfriends and husbands\u2014are a huge fixture in TV shows and movies. However, their race is often ignored or glossed over. They just happen to be white, unlike their racialized counterparts. When whiteness does get airtime, it\u2019s usually in the context of more distant relationships, like between strangers or neighbors, teachers\/students, coworkers, or even friends, rather than significant others. For these and other reasons, I love books that look directly at whiteness in romantic partnerships.<\/p>\n\n\n

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In part of my poetry collection, Replica<\/a><\/em>, I write about being in a white male\u2013Asian female relationship, a common interracial pairing that comes with its own stereotypes, acronym (WMAF), and memes. Besides being interested in the power dynamics\u2014which of course vary in individual relationships\u2014I initially wrote out of defensiveness: I too am with a white guy but am still my own person. I thought writing about my relationship could be a protective measure against being stereotyped\u2014a strategy I still embrace. But the more I wrote about it, the more I saw how it matched the larger project of my book, especially the idea that poetry is an imperfect form for representing yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Representation is a tricky endeavor. It helped me to read other writers who were also exploring whiteness in intimate relationships, even if representation wasn\u2019t their main goal\u2014or goal at all. In these genre-spanning books, power imbalances play out on small and large scales: at home, on social media, in pop culture, in the workplace. There are fantasies of ideal white partners, dating horror stories, an incel, and woke white boyfriends with questionable pasts. There are moments to look away from, and moments that make me look deeper within. These seven books zoom in on whiteness, as close as we can get to it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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